I’ve never been one to do the whole “word a year” thing. The last few weeks though, this word, relentless, has kept coming to mind. I think it will be my 2016 word but I’m starting early. I think most know what it means but I looked it up anyway and loved the definition Google gave: oppressively constant, incessant.
That’s how it’s been feeling. Oppressively constant.
I’ve been known to be relentless. Growing up I would get my mind on something and just bug the daylights out of my parents until I could get it. I was young and bargaining meals for toys with them. Of course they always won and I had to eat dinner but I would just say “instead of feeding me this meal, could you buy me this thing”. Silly me, thought it was a money thing, not an entitlement thing. It’s comical looking back but scary now as I see my daughter. She forgets nothing. She will repeat herself 1000 times until she gets what she wants or has a very stern conversation from us. It can feel suffocating.
That’s how it’s felt the last few months. It feels like my loved ones are being cornered. Like one by one their health has been sacrificed and I’m having to question each one of their permanence on this earth, but more specifically in my life. It’s been ugly. They’ve all turned out ok but after some questionable news a few days ago that stopped me in my tracks, I woke up to my baby having croup today. So here I am, for the second time this week, wondering what one of my people really means to me, watching his chest rise and fall, praying for a clear sound.
I know how to be relentless. It’s how I married my D, after all. We were with family we don’t get to see very often over the weekend in Louisville. They asked about our journey to marriage and I was reminded again, I can be relentless. I can fight for someone.
Recently ut’s gotten so personal and sometimes feels all encompassing. These times as a Christian mean my nose should be planted square on the floor, storming the gates of heaven for these people in my life, these terrors attacks, these tefugees. But once I stand back up I’ve been challenged that being relentless also means more. It means fighting on their behalf in prayer but it means fighting for good to prevail and being part of the good. I have a small square of earth and it all matters. How I treat my people, but also how I treat yours. Even more, how am I speaking about them, how am I teaching my kids to think, pray, and speak for those they’re called to battle for and against, the people that will push their noses to the floor, those whose potential loss makes them go to battle; makes them be relentless to the gates of heaven. How am I modeling this? How am I showing them it matters? It has to!
If we had our noses to the floor, in every country. If we got up and did something to make the world more loving, more beautiful, if we bought Christmas gifts that support local businesses or efforts that pay people in other countries fairly instead of going to the mall because it’s easier. Wouldn’t it all mean something? If we told our elected officials on Election Day and every day they’re in office what we think, won’t it change something? It has to. It has to mean something, it has to bring heaven to earth just a little bit.