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Weeks 3&4 of THE Shred

My gym was closed for a week around Labor Day so I’m a little late on reporting the last two weeks! I’m down 7.4 lbs and 1.1%body fat.

I’m not totally thrilled with the numbers but I think its because I’m not drinking enough water. This week I’m going to focus on drinking way more water and see how the fat percentage changes next week. I also cheated a tiny bit on Labor Day. So that didn’t help!

In other news, I’ve been hooked on protein pancakes! 1/4 cup cottage cheese, 1/2 cup dry oatmeal, 2 eggs, 1 teaspoon vanilla, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon. Mix it all up in the blender, cook and top with berries! I even threw a banana in there one day and put a super thin layer of peanut butter on top. Yummy!

I’m 1/3 of the way finished the shred! I’m really loving this food plan, it feels like I could do it forever…which is obviously the point. I miss my friends in the class I typically take (shout out to 6:30am!!) but I always enjoy lifting once I’m doing it. Another goal this week is 4 sessions of cardio. I completed one this morning. I’ve got to get creative with all the babes around but I’m committed.

Check back next week!

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Thankful, Thankful

My life is not perfect. Ive been super open with the sorrow of the last two years, especially after my sister’s brain injury. But I have to take a moment to celebrate.

I dropped off my two kids to two schools I love this week. I sat in the car grinning that it all worked out. God provided money where there was no money. He calmed nerves, He moved some mountains, He created a way.

In the midst of living through some circumstances I would never choose, and feeling loss in places I never thought would be deserts, I have to shout with gladness that some of my deepest desires have been fulfilled. Staying home with my kids, sending them to schools who teach them to love and revere God, it is a dream come true.

I will never understand the God who did not intervene how I wanted with my sister, yet still cares deeply about the details and desires of my heart. I can say with confidence that He is near. At the end of the day, thats everything.

I hope you all are having a wonderful first week of school if your lives, like ours, are now on a school calendar. I’m praying for safe kids this year everywhere, and that they know God as near.

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Total Shred Week 2

Every time I do one of these challenges at WSA Fitness I get hooked on new yummy food that I find. This shred is no exception, luckily! I’m definitely one who loves the whole cauliflower craze. I’ll never eat regular rice again. I stumbled upon this Cauliflower Gnocchi in the frozen food section at Trader Joes and I love it! It is SUPER low carb and is really yummy with meat sauce on top.

The second thing I found are these cooked, peeled, beets with no added ingredients. I linked them onto Amazon but they are SO MUCH CHEEPER at Costco. They just didn’t have them online. It comes in a box of I think three of these packages and each package has 4-5 whole beets. I know beets are one of those foods that are pretty polarizing. There is no in between. I LOVE beets. These have been a great addition to lots of my meals. I love that they’re ready. For whatever reason I eat way more veggies if I don’t have to roast them constantly. So between these and raw bell peppers I’ve been eating tons of veggies.

This week I’ve really noticed my posture improving! I’m sore every day from lifting but I can definitely feel myself getting stronger. Super exciting!

So far I’ve lost:

4.2 lbs

.8% body fat.

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Week One of the Shred!

I’ve completed my first week of the shred at my gym, WSA Fitness!

This challenge is a little bit different because its specific to my needs. So the food is what my body needs to reach my goals. I’m super excited about that! This first week I lost 3 lbs and .3% body fat. Not a huge amount but definitely moving in the right direction.

One of the things I wanted to really focus on this time around was to try to work through some discipline issues so I don’t just gain the weight back. It’s so frustrating to start over! Its much easier to stay on course vs. restarting. I was on a leadership retreat for my church last weekend and felt led to look up discipline in the Bible. I had no idea that self control would be the topic of the sermon on Sunday!

Here are some things I found:

2 Timothy 1:7 “For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline”.

Titus 1:8 (this is in reference to leaders) “Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined”

One of the things that kept coming to mind as I read these and other verses was that not only am I called to be self-disciplined, but I’m called to not be enslaved to anything. In Matthew 6 the Bible talks bout how we cannot serve two masters. I believe it. The amount of time I think about food, what I’ll eat next. Or how often I don’t want to spend money but end up at Starbucks getting an iced coffee. Again.  Or the amount of time I think about what I’ll wear, or be disappointed if I don’t look the way I want in it. I’m enslaved.

So heres to 11 more weeks! I’ve been sore from all the lifting but super happy to be back at it consistently.

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Time For Another Challenge!

If you’ve been following along on my blog for the last year(ish) this is my third fitness challenge through my gym, WSA Fitness. I’m so excited to be starting today!

This challenge is twelve weeks instead of the normal six and it’s more tailored specifically to my goals. They also got a super fancy scale that tells you all of these percentages and I’m so excited for a more accurate picture!

One of the big differences this time around that I hope will help me to stay consistent after the challenge is reading some about why I stress eat.

My sister is on her 15th day in the hospital and it’s how I’m coping and have been coping a lot the last two years after her brain injury. I need to break the habit!

So here’s where you come in! Are there any books or blogs that you love that speak to this? Anything about stress eating, food discipline, making super clean foods that my kids will eat which is a major issue. Send them my way!

I’ll be updating once a week for the next twelve weeks about how it’s going and hopefully things I’m learning! I hope you’ll join me!

For Katie the Warrior, Uncategorized

Two Fourth of Julys Later

Its been quite a while since I’ve blogged. I started working part time a few months ago and it has taken up my free nap time! Judah has also stopped napping so that has taken up my free nap time even more.

Anyway-like most holidays this one feels weird but for a different reason. It was exactly two years ago that I had a meeting with my sister’s doctors at the Neuro ICU and they told us she had global brain damage and that there was no hope for her waking up or for any meaningful recovery.

What cold, harsh words. I remember thinking I felt like I was in a movie. It was one of those moments in life that changed more of me than I could have anticipated. My life is cut into two parts-before Katie’s brain injury and after. This day was the marker to me even more the day that she went to the ER. It was the day they laid out our future and it wasn’t one I wanted.

I still remember looking at the doctor while he spoke such ugly words to us. He wasn’t warm, or apologetic. He said them like he was diagnosing strep throat. “global brain damage. 24/7 care for life. She wont wake up from the coma.” I couldn’t help but think of our beach trip the week before. Sitting in the sand next to each other, watching our kids play. Drinking wine at night while talking about the future trips we’d take. It was cruel. It still feels cruel. She was stolen from me, from her kids and family. 32 and brain dead.

I was explaining to a new friend the other day why I watch my niece and nephew a few days a week. Its so bizarre to sum the last two years up in a sentence or two. I always mention that Katie wasn’t supposed to wake up, but she did. I explain that she wasn’t supposed to be able to communicate, but that she writes “I love you” every time I see her. She cant walk or scratch an itch, or stand, but she can cry. She can feel things and sometimes thats the worst of all. But she has hope, and we all have hope. She asks to hear worship music. She asks to come to church. She asks to see her family and friends.

She says she’s seen angels, she’s felt the Lord near, she’s had dreams and experienced the miraculous.  She has sat strong while I’ve sobbed over her, while I’ve screamed at the Lord at her bedside. She’s moaned while I’ve been brave. So as much as it felt like a big part of my world was taken away that fourth of July, I’m thankful that the sister bond wont leave. No matter what a doctor says, or the ugly words he speaks over our lives. We still have each other. In new, excruciating, precious ways. I know that I’ll visit Katie, and God is there by her bedside every time.   Countless people have said they visit Kate and see the angels above her head. Its a sacred space in that room, where my kids have learned to pray and where I’ve learned to trust.

I’m so thankful for my sister. That she has risen above the ashes and that she tries like hell to come back to us. I’d take her pain away if I could but in the meantime I’ll be praying that one day soon she’ll tell me she loves me with her words, that if she cries she’ll be able to tell me why, and when I cry she’ll be able to reach up and pat my back. One day!

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For Katie the Warrior

God Coming Near

Another Mothers day is on the verge! What a tricky holiday. Like many days, I marry my excitement and celebration with a sadness at what isn’t quite made whole yet. I was talking to a friend the other day about how I’ve honestly wondered if it would have been more merciful for God to take Katie home sometime over the past two years versus her living in quite a lot of pain and suffering. She has been clear with us in her writing that she doesn’t wish to die. That although she gets to experience the miracle of God coming SO near to her, she’s not ready.

Nothing makes me quite as emotional as when someone preaches on heaven celebrating over us. That picture and idea of all of heaven rejoicing in something on earth brings instant tears to my eyes. Luke 15:7 is often the catalyst of the whole thing…”I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” I often think of the people at the end of a race, calling out to the runners as they finish. Or as someone walks down the wedding aisle, or across the graduation stage, when they were destined for a wheelchair. The applause. The celebration. You can feel it in your core.

Last year, my sister wasn’t well enough to go to Moms Day at school. It was just a wet, weepy day for me. I wanted her there. I wanted her there for Ephram and Vera. It was a lot. But this year we made it happen!

I showed up to Kate’s rehab facility to see her off before her trip to the preschool.

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Judah is always eager to help push Katie ANYWHERE she may or may not need to go. Every person that knows Katie there was elated. Her GNA did her hair super fancy.

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They had her dressed in a cute outfit. They all stopped by her room to see her off. They wanted to tell her they were excited she was going. They smiled and applauded and told Kate how happy they were for her. You would’ve thought she was going to prom! They are rooting for her. While the angels are applauding for her in heaven, rejoicing in her successes and praying for her recovery, she has a host of people cheering her on where she lives.

When she got to pre-school, Vera was elated.

She could barely stand it she was so happy. When her little friends were staring, or asking why she was in the wheelchair, or just dumbfounded that Veras life looks different, she continued to smile. Full of excitement and PRIDE that her mom was there. It’s enough to make me turn into a puddle.

Dont get me wrong, it was hard. We want “normal” for Vera and Kate. We want conversations with voices and we want Kate to play hide and seek and to get up out of the wheelchair and walk. Thats not the reality yet but in the meantime, what a picture.

Thank goodness I’m not in charge. We would have missed so much. Vera would have missed so much. Katie would have missed so much. Thank goodness the Lord didn’t take her.

Please pray for Kate this weekend! She wanted more than anything to be a mom and I know she wants to be a more active participant in that role. Pray that she feels treasured, because she is! And pray that as we beg the Lord on Katies behalf, that all of heaven would join us.