Month: November 2016

Oh it’s a rough holiday season for our family this year. We live in the tension of celebrating and mourning and praying and crying and hoping. I know some of you do too.

I am SO very thankful for my family. We have rallied. We have rallied more than we thought possible, honestly. Nothing looks the same as it did SIX months ago but we’re in it for the long hall; until Kate is restored to our family.  Katie has a family behind her that would do anything to help her heal and her warriors are fierce.

I’m so thankful for my Dan. I said “we have to buy a van” and he said “yes”. I said “I want those babies with us several days a week” “of course” he said. “I need to go look at facilities for Kate. Tomorrow” he just smiles and says “I’ll take off work”. This man is my hero. It is not glamorous to be a support role.  Nobody is going to throw him a party for watching our kids after working all day so I can be with Kate but without Dan there’s no Ashley. I prayed earlier this year for God to show us how to be a team. This wasn’t what I had in mind but He’s nothing if He’s not faithful!

I’m so very thankful for my tribe. There are days that I feel deserted by the Lord. My tribe straight shows off on those days. They pamper with words, with cries, with coffee and gifts. They watch my kids when I can’t. They say hard things to me. They push me and tell me who I really am when I forget. They pray over and over-every time I tell them there’s something new that needs praying over they do it and they ask me about it the next day. They are so precious. They are Gods picture of His provision incarnate.

Lastly-I’m thankful for a God who can handle anger. I’m angry. It’s not fair. I’d do anything to change what happened to Kate and I can’t. He and I aren’t done.

Romans 15:4 says, “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.”

I’m not the only one in the universe walking through great sorrow. I can still have hope.

Well enough crying-I’ve got babies to play with. Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

If you find yourself praying around a Thanksgiving table, pray for Kate. That this is her last thanksgiving wishing she was holding her babes. 

Oh, this day. I swear I’ve lost five pounds of water weight weeping over this day. 

My feisty  sister, you are so very precious to me. You are the president of my fan club, my decorator, my living and breathing mommy blog, my canfidant, my dear friend. You know where everything is, your are in every childhood memory, the way you value and collect beauty is contagious. You are every prayer on my lips and in my heart, you are every single tear that has left my eyes the past six months. You are somehow missed so incredibly yet always near. You are the first person I want to share anything with and one of the opinions I constantly seek.

May this year be the turning point. May it be the biggest story YOU will ever tell. Kate, may you know how deeply you are loved, adored, and missed each day. May you know the Lord’s voice and praise Him even while you walk through this hell. We walk with you with our prayers and our encouragement and our presence but the journey and battle are yours.

We will never give up hope and battle for your total restoration to our family. We go nowhere without you!

My dear friend Katherine Wolf wanted to chime in from the west coast. Check out her birthday wish to Kate! If you haven’t, please check out her website! Read her book! Support her ministry! Her encouragement has been invaluable to me over the past six months. ​

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