Another Mothers day is on the verge! What a tricky holiday. Like many days, I marry my excitement and celebration with a sadness at what isn’t quite made whole yet. I was talking to a friend the other day about how I’ve honestly wondered if it would have been more merciful for God to take Katie home sometime over the past two years versus her living in quite a lot of pain and suffering. She has been clear with us in her writing that she doesn’t wish to die. That although she gets to experience the miracle of God coming SO near to her, she’s not ready.
Nothing makes me quite as emotional as when someone preaches on heaven celebrating over us. That picture and idea of all of heaven rejoicing in something on earth brings instant tears to my eyes. Luke 15:7 is often the catalyst of the whole thing…”I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” I often think of the people at the end of a race, calling out to the runners as they finish. Or as someone walks down the wedding aisle, or across the graduation stage, when they were destined for a wheelchair. The applause. The celebration. You can feel it in your core.
Last year, my sister wasn’t well enough to go to Moms Day at school. It was just a wet, weepy day for me. I wanted her there. I wanted her there for Ephram and Vera. It was a lot. But this year we made it happen!
I showed up to Kate’s rehab facility to see her off before her trip to the preschool.
Judah is always eager to help push Katie ANYWHERE she may or may not need to go. Every person that knows Katie there was elated. Her GNA did her hair super fancy.
They had her dressed in a cute outfit. They all stopped by her room to see her off. They wanted to tell her they were excited she was going. They smiled and applauded and told Kate how happy they were for her. You would’ve thought she was going to prom! They are rooting for her. While the angels are applauding for her in heaven, rejoicing in her successes and praying for her recovery, she has a host of people cheering her on where she lives.
When she got to pre-school, Vera was elated.
She could barely stand it she was so happy. When her little friends were staring, or asking why she was in the wheelchair, or just dumbfounded that Veras life looks different, she continued to smile. Full of excitement and PRIDE that her mom was there. It’s enough to make me turn into a puddle.
Dont get me wrong, it was hard. We want “normal” for Vera and Kate. We want conversations with voices and we want Kate to play hide and seek and to get up out of the wheelchair and walk. Thats not the reality yet but in the meantime, what a picture.
Thank goodness I’m not in charge. We would have missed so much. Vera would have missed so much. Katie would have missed so much. Thank goodness the Lord didn’t take her.
Please pray for Kate this weekend! She wanted more than anything to be a mom and I know she wants to be a more active participant in that role. Pray that she feels treasured, because she is! And pray that as we beg the Lord on Katies behalf, that all of heaven would join us.