rentals and beans

Oh I’m loving some things right now. Loving, them BIG!

1. I ordered this blanket for myself for my birthday a few weeks ago. Back Story: my kids were constantly wrapped in Aden and Anias muslin as babies. Lil and my nephew, Ephram, would not leave the house without one as toddlers. I just got really used to that soft & cozy fabric around me and it reminds me of when these precious lumps were babies. Sooooo, I saw that they sell blankets for adults made of muslin and I needed something for the summer months. Enter: this blankie for adults. It has one great review and one not so great. I love it. Judah talks about how soft and cozy it is every time he slips in to cuddle when he wakes me up in the morning. It’s pretty much a dream come true.
2. Vivofit jr. 3 for kids! A few friends of ours have purchased these watches for their kids and our kids wanted them bad! So we asked for them as a gift for their birthdays and they haven’t taken them off since. I will say, I had a talk with both of my kids once they got them that we don’t care how many steps they have in a day, or how many minutes they are active, but that we want them to know its important to move their bodies so that they are strong and can do everything they want their bodies to do. I’m hyper-vigilant about our messaging when it comes to bodies and health in a society (and family line, honestly) full of eating-disorders. So our language is health/strength/movement vs. anything visual! If only I spoke to myself the same way!
3. I really like birkenstocks but sometimes they bother my arch. I saw these Cushionaire birk look-a-likes as a great option on instagram from someone who has the same issue. They are SO comfortable and for goodness sakes they’re $25 instead of $100! I’m usually happy to spend the money for comfortable and long-lasting shoes because I have a lot of arch pain and am prone to issues but I don’t think I will buy birks again.
4. I’m at the point in my life that I buy clothing from Costco. I won’t apologize for it. One of my closest friends texts me from Texas when she (or her mom, haha!) are at her special Sams club in Texas and I text her when I’m at Costco. The athleisure is unreal at these stores! Enter: this drawstring dress that was $11.99 in store! What!? Does Costco know what clothes cost in the rest of the world?! I actually forgot to text her about this dress so I may get yelled at. (Sorry, Missy!)
5. My kids don’t typically LOVE homework. They are sour every summer when I get out bridge books to help get them ready for the next year. I don’t know what kind of voodoo magic is in these particular books but I literally have to stop them from doing more! “sorry kids, time to stop the books, we’ve got to go to the pool”. WHAT? This is not normal for our family. I’m here for it, though!

Okay! That’s it for now. Hope you’re loving summer!!

It’s been too long! I’ve got a list of some current favorite things. I hope you enjoy them!

1. Delonghi Magnifica. Dan got me this beauty for Christmas last year and we just feel like we are living our best lives. We got ours refurbished on eBay to knock a few hundo off the steep price tag. Lattes every stinking day.
2. I’m a tank top wearer. I usually wear them under everything and I’m tall  (5.10) so I like them longggg. These are my current faves. I had a few from free people at a whopping $28 a pop and it just seemed excessive. I have another one that is also long but more textured, like a chunky rib that I also like but I cant find it on the site.
3. I got a coupon in the mail last spring for a free full sized Moisture Surge Overnight Mask with ANY purchase from Clinique. Uh, yes! My skin is so dry in the winter and this has been a game changer this year. Love, love, love it. Clinique does surprisingly well with EWG ratings, btw. Who knew?!
4. This is gross. We got this tushy when the pandemic hit. We don’t need to worry about toilet paper shortages and it may be the best purchase we made in 2020. I don’t especially want to talk about this with you but just trust me that it works. 
5. I keep reading over and over how one of the best things we can do is be outside. Helps with immunity, Vitamin D (which can be a huge factor of how severe covid is in your body), mental health, etc. So everyone is getting some Merino Wool shirts (benefits are endless look it up!) and socks in their stockings. We will be outside all winter!  Mountain Warehouse is having some awesome sales.
6. There are lots of expensive facial cleansing brushes but I have no desire to spend a ton of money. I will say my face is smoother and feels cleaner from using this so I think its worth the $20. It also dropped from six feet in he air onto a tile floor and it still works. 
7. The Terra Core. I have a love/hate relationship with this. It enhances all exercises, no matter what I do on it my core hurts the next day which is a win. Truly. But it’s big so it takes up room in my house. I got it on prime day for $180 total including shipping so maybe try for Black Friday.

I think thats it for now! Happy Shopping.

Never again will I live so many milestones in a single decade. I got married, had all the kids, bought 3 houses, and got to stay home to raise my precious lumps full time.

I also met sorrow full on. For 3.5 years I’ve tried to understand what it means to trust God. I wish I had answers beyond trying to do it everyday but I don’t. What I have learned for the first time in my life was to yearn for heaven. To want to experience redemption and restoration not just for my sister and her brain injury but in life. How can I be a part of bringing wholeness and restoration to earth?

My heart has been broken for those that are not living (what I would perceive to be) a happy ending. The stories are easy to find. Parents having to bury their kids, minor sex trafficking, health issues that are totally avoidable, etc. etc. etc.. There’s a feeling of, “GOD DO SOMETHING.”

I met with someone a few months ago who had lived through his family’s own trauma. He said to me that it doesn’t matter what tough questions I have, it only matters who I’m asking. He had been practicing this himself.

It stuck with me. Am I willing to ask the awful questions every day of God? “Why didn’t you intervene?” “Have you forgotten our family?” “Are you good?” “Who else will you take from me?” “What next?” “Why only heal some people?”

So that’s where I am. Committing for 2020 and beyond that I’ll ask the questions and I’ll ask them of God. I won’t pout. I won’t withhold. I won’t be silent. I will show up and ask the questions every single day.

I hope you each had moments of wonder and beauty in your Christmas season. We found those moments in the midst of the kiddos having the flu. It forced us to slow down and that’s not a bad thing!

If you, like me, are feeling “bleh” about a new year. Worried. Afraid to be hopeful. Apprehensive in general. Reach out! Can’t hurt to go at it together!

Okay so if you’re greek, this quick meal could actually offend you. Maybe move on along. I made this meal up with Trader Joes foods a few weeks ago. We’ve been having it every week and we will likely have it every week for the next six months until we’re sick of it. Then we’ll forget about it for 3 years. It’s feast or famine! What can I say…

 

Grocery List AT TRADER JOES:

1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast tenderloins

1 container of the Tzatziki creamy garlic cucumber dip

1 package of frozen Garlic Naan

1 container Goddess Dressing

1 bag of the Champs Elysees salad (the only salad I buy).

 

I marinate the chicken in the Goddess Dressing for a couple of hours. Maybe 4-ish.

While I’m grilling the chicken, I throw the Garlic Naan in the oven for a couple minutes.

When they’re both finished, I pour the rest of the salad dressing on a bag of salad. Sometimes I sprinkle some parmasean cheese on it if I’m feeling fancy.

Heres the magic part. I put several tablespoons of the tatziki on the naan. Then I cut up some chicken and put it on there. Then I top it all with salad.

Guys. IT IS SO GOOD. I fold it up and eat it like a taco. Dan rolls his eyes at me while I applaud myself for such a delicious meal. Now hurry and go to Trader Joes so you can be a super chef as well.

Enjoy! Start to finish cooking is 15 minutes!

Internet world, it has been a bit of a crazy week. I would say I had a complete PTSD breakdown. I happened across a family on Instagram with a seven year old named Eva. Two weeks ago she had a freak accident, fell off of a golf cart and had a traumatic brain injury. I’ve been following along on the posts as her parents have expressed great faith in God to heal their sweet daughter while wrestling with what is happening medically.

The dad posted last night, “Today was a very difficult day. There are no big changes with Eva, but the conversations the doctors are now having with us feel like I’m taking punch after punch until I can barely stand.
Fair warning, I’m gonna get pretty raw here.

Medically, the doctors are gently saying they essentially believe there’s a good chance Eva will be in a vegetative state for the rest of her life, or close to it. All her movements, they’re saying, are reflexive, not intentional, and the best we could hope for would be some eventual movement of her eyes and limbs…after a year of rehabilitation. They even looked us in the eyes and asked, based on their prediction of her future quality of life, if we’d like to keep her on life-support or not.
I’ve never felt this kind of anger before.
I’m angry at the doctors for having such worst-case-scenario mindsets, I’m angry at myself for feeling so hopeless and clueless and inadequate, but mostly I’m angry at God.
He made Eva so full of life and joy and crazy and fun, why would He allow this freak accident to happen, only to keep her alive…but unable to talk, see, or move? I would much more have preferred for Him to have taken her to wholeness and life with Him the moment she hit her head, rather than keep her body alive but eliminate her spark.
What the heck, God?
I’ve never felt more like I need to sob and also smash everything I can touch than I do today.
I’m out of prayers. I feel like I’ve been praying non-stop for 2 weeks straight and am running on fumes. I mean, Jesus simply spoke healing and life and authority over sickness and death once and people were healed or rose from the dead. Why is God taking so long in answering my prayers? I know and have absolute faith that God is bigger than Eva’s injury, than the atoms in her brain and skull, bigger than brain scans and doctors’ opinions, bigger than the breathing tube still in her throat. I have zero doubt that God could shock this hospital and the world with His power through Eva’s healing…but why isn’t He? And if He’s not going to, why keep Eva around for so long, only to let me (and tens of thousands of others) down? I’m angry and empty and lost and a million miles past confused.
But still trying to hold on to this:

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,  and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,  out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground  and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,  a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.  They will put their trust in the Lord. – Psalm 40:1-3 *I also want to say, regardless of how my faith is being tested, the medical professionals (doctors, nurses, specialists, etc.) have all been fantastic. I fully understand they are doing their job and doing with such love and care for Eva and us. I have zero resentment or frustration with them, just frustration with the reality of our world challenging my faith.

Sound familiar? I could have written this 3 years ago. I think I did! Watching these posts pop up has forced me to walk through the trauma of such a horrendous diagnosis all over again. Its also made me walk through them again as a bystander and pray for all of the same things but for a seven year old.

I took Judah to see Katie yesterday. We sat with her, listened to worship music, and I updated her on her kids first days of school. I told her about Eva and she nodded when I asked if shed like to pray for her. Shocking-the tears flowed all over again. Its a holy place, sitting with Katie, wrecked by a brain injury, as we pray for Eva still in a coma for her brain injury. Holy, and beautiful, and so. very. hard.

I stand three years later, still wondering why Katie and now Eva haven’t sprung out of their hospital beds, healed miraculously and completely. Still, I know God is there with them in those beds, it’s His angels all around them. He is sometimes so hard to see but other days its clear. He was there when Katie’s tracheotomy came out when the doctors said it wouldn’t. He was there when her vocal chords started making sounds when the doctors said they wouldn’t. He was there when she started writing, when the doctors said shed never wake up. He’s been there all along. It doesn’t look how I want it to. But HE IS THERE for it anyway.

Take a minute today, please! Pray for Eva to wake up and talk! And as always, pray for our Katie to be restored.

Here is a picture of Katie a few months ago with her daughter in her lap for one of the first times since her brain injury. (thank you botox for strengthening her muscles!)