Mourning and Rejoicing

Oh it’s been a roller coaster. I sat down today during nap time and gave myself a few moments to feel all of my feelings. This probably seems ridiculous. It’s been a whirlwind of 48 hours.

Two nights ago I drove up to New Jersey with a few dear friends. Aly and I met in high school and had an instant sweet friendship. Emily and I were college roommates and I am BLESSED to live literally down the street from she and her hubs. Our little boys were born nine days apart which adds a sweetness that is insane. Her husband Ryan drove us up and we laughed that he said zero words the entire drive. Smart man! We went up for a surprise engagement party for my friend Brittany. She has been the sweetest, most supportive friend for the long hall. It was sheer joy to get to celebrate with them!!


Back to reality. I got a text that Lillian was puking at record speed. I got home and went straight to the basement with her where she woke up to vomit every 45 minutes for the next ten hours. Joy.

Then yesterday as we panicked that the rest of us would be vomiting any minute I got a phone call from my mom with some pretty shocking news about insurance coverage for my sister. She’s almost eight months in to a brain injury and although improving weekly she is nowhere near the picture of restoration that we beg the Lord for. Any insurance change is a bad change at this point in the game.

It felt like yet another punch to the gut. Dan and I layed in bed last night yet again with a tear stained pillow bringing her to the foot of the cross and begging for miracles. For redemption like we’ve never experienced. It hasn’t gotten any easier to wake up to slow progress.

We somehow made it to today. My very best friend had her third baby. A boy I haven’t yet met and already adore.

In the midst of worry and tears and sorrow for Kate I somehow have joy and anticipation for a new baby to love. So happy he’s here but cautious because we’ve experienced some hell on earth in the last year and I want all these kids exempt from suffering.

So for 48 hours I’ve experienced joy and excitement. Nervousness over waiting for a new baby to come in the world which caused some thoughtless eating (marshmallows to be exact). Incredible sorrow as it seems like our mountain just got steeper with Kate. Then, as always, I’m forced to end and rest in hope. Hope for a beautiful marriage for a dear friend, hope for a happy and healthy life for baby Elliot. Hope that nobody else hurls. As always hope that my sweet sister is restored on this side of heaven, and constant prayers for her to feel inexplicable hope while we wait.

If you think of it, please pray that this insurance stuff gets figured out for Kate. It’s the last thing we want to be dealing with!

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